Mediation service

Mediation is a confidential process in which an impartial third party helps disputing parties work out an agreement. The disputants, not the mediator, decide the terms of the agreement.

The people involved in the dispute are usually going to remain as neighbours or work with each other and are therefore likely to see each other frequently. It is important that they can face each other without the risk of further trouble.

Often the problem seems worse than it actually is. It may be possible to resolve it if the parties are able to talk about it with the assistance of independent, impartial mediators (mediators always work in pairs).

The role of a mediator is to create a safe environment where disputants know that what they say will be listened to and respected. No one is judged or blamed and any agreement reached, comes from the disputants themselves.

How mediation works

Indirect Mediation

Also known as shuttle mediation. The mediators visit each party in turn carrying messages between them. Some disputes are resolved by this means without the parties themselves meeting. This is appropriate where there is an imbalance of power or the rift between the disputants is a serious one.

Joint Meeting Mediation

Also known as round table, face-to-face or direct mediation. This is a structured meeting with both parties present as well as the mediators, who act as facilitators.

The parties will attempt to reach an agreement which meets the needs of everyone. When agreement is reached the mediators encourage the disputants to put it in writing. Although this agreement is not legally enforceable, it can serve as a reminder to each side, exactly what has been agreed.

Referrals

All organisations, both statutory and voluntary, can access the Service as well as individuals. The organisation sends in a referral with names, address and telephone numbers of all the people in dispute, preferably after asking their permission to contact us. We then write to all of the people concerned and arrange a mutually acceptable time to visit each party.

An person who is having a problem with their neighbour can ring the Service and talk with an experienced mediator about the best way to proceed. Mediators will not contact their neighbour without their permission.

Disputes can be about anything at all. Neighbour conflicts may involve noise, verbal abuse, rubbish, boundaries, pets, parking, children’s behaviour. Workplace conflicts can involve bullying, problems with the boss or not getting on with work colleagues. Whatever the problem, Rochdale Mediation Service offers a confidential, professional service to suit the needs of each individual person.

Self-Help

Sometimes people may feel that mediation is not appropriate or are unsure whether to go ahead with it. For these situations, Rochdale Mediation Service has written some “Do’s and Don’ts” which may help people to sort out the situation for themselves:

Do

Have a word with your neighbour before you get angry or upset
Choose a time convenient for everyone
Think about what you want to say before you start
Invite your neighbour to discuss the problem over a cup of tea
Take the view that together you can sort the problem out
See the situation as a shared problem
Give them plenty of time to express their views
Listen carefully
Be clear and precise about your view of the problem
Bring all of the relevant issues into the open at the start
Keep to the issues that are currently relevant
Remain calm and friendly
Accept differences in attitudes and ways of life
Be open to suggestions for resolving the situation in the future
Be reasonable – if your neighbour offers to make concessions, see if you can do the same
Come to an agreement that lets you both win

Don’t

Wait until you are at the end of your tether
Be ashamed to say that the situation has upset you
Exaggerate the problem
Blame your neighbour or accuse them of anti-social behaviour
Make assumptions about what has happened
Shout or use abusive language
Threaten to retaliate
Assume you know what they think
Be afraid to make your own views clear
Keep the “difficult bits” hidden, or your neighbour will underestimate the problem
Bring up everything they have done that has annoyed you over the past ten years
Assume that the first solutions you come up with will be the best
Rush to an unsatisfactory agreement

Training

There are three accredited training courses a year which cover community and workplace mediation skills. Trainees do not have to become volunteers with the service although they are expected to complete three cases at the end of the course in order to gain their certificate.

History of the service

The service began in 1997 and was financed by SRB funding for three years. When the funding ran out in 2000, the service continued on a purely voluntary basis and the Council allowed them to stay in our original office. However, our accommodation was situated in Newbold Housing Office which was unfortunately destroyed by fire.

In 2002, College Bank Tenants and Residents Association very kindly provided an office in Mardyke, along with all facilities free of charge, including use of their committee room for large meetings and training purposes.

In 2005 there were 60 cases referred to the service. By the nature of the cases, this necessarily involved more than 250 individuals. With more volunteers and greater publicity for the service, the aim is to increase the caseload each year.

Contact